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Understanding Emotional Intelligence


Emotional intelligence maybe defined as the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and other people’s emotions both individually and in groups. There are numerous definitions about emotional intelligence but let us look at how wikipedia in their context defined it.emotional-intelligence-digiconceptng

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goal(s) (wikipedia definition)


  • You are aware of IQ (Intelligence Quotient). Designed to measure intellectual intelligence. Higher IQs indicate better cognitive abilities, or the ability to learn and understand. People with higher IQs are more likely to do well academically without exerting the same amount of mental effort as those with lower IQ scores.
  • A logical assumption, therefore, is that people with higher IQs will be more successful at work and through life. This assumption has been proven incorrect – there is more to success than simply being ‘clever’.


  • People with higher emotional intelligence find it easier to form and maintain interpersonal relationships and to ‘fit in’ to group situations.
  • People with higher emotional intelligence are also better at understanding their own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.

Elements of Emotional Intelligence

This table shows highlights of our topic for better explanation and understanding.

Personal Skills or CompetencesSocial Skills or Competences
How we manage ourselvesHow we handle relationships with others

    • Emotional awareness
    • Accurate self-assessment
    • Self-confidence

    • Understanding others
    • Developing others
    • Service orientation
    • Leveraging diversity
    • Political awareness

    • Self-control
    • Trustworthiness
    • Conscientiousness
    • Adaptability
    • Innovation
Social Skills

    • Influence
    • Communication
    • Conflict management
    • Leadership
    • Change catalyst
    • Building bonds
    • Collaboration and cooperation
    • Team capabilities

    • Achievement drive
    • Commitment
    • Initiative
    • Optimism



Self-awareness is the skill of being aware of and understanding your emotions as they occur and as they evolve. It is wrong to think of emotions as either positive or negative. Instead, you should think of them as appropriate or inappropriate.

For example, anger is usually associated with being a negative emotion.  However, it can be a completely reasonable and appropriate emotion in certain circumstances – emotional intelligence allows us to recognise our anger and understand why this emotion has occurred.

Effective self-assessment of feelings and emotions will help to improve your confidence and self-esteem.

Self-regulation or Self-management:

Having learned to be aware of your emotions, the skill of self-regulation relates to managing them appropriately and proportionately.

Self-management skills relate to the emotions you are feeling at any given time or in any given circumstance and how well you manage them. Self-control is a fundamental part of this, but other aspects relate to what you then do: whether you behave in a way which is recognised as ‘good’ or ‘virtuous’ or not.


Self-motivation includes our personal drive to improve and achieve, commitment to our goals, initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and optimism and resilience.

Self-motivation and personal time management are key skills in this area.  Do not make unreasonable demands on yourself, learn to be assertive rather than just saying, ‘Yes’ to the demands of others.


Empathy is an awareness of the needs and feelings of others both individually and in groups, and being able to see things from the point of view of others.

Empathy helps us to develop a stronger understanding of other people’s situations. It includes understanding others, developing others, having a service orientation, leveraging diversity, and political awareness.

Empathy can often be difficult to achieve. Learn to listen effectively to both the verbal and non-verbal messages of others, including body movements, gestures and physical signs of emotion.  Use questions to find out more about other people and what they are feeling, and feedback to clarify that you have correctly understood their feelings. Acknowledge and respect the feelings of others even if you disagree, and avoid making comments or statements that are judgmental, belittling, rejecting or undermining.

Social Skills:

Social skills encompasses a wide range of relationship and interpersonal skills. These range from leadership through to influencing and persuading, and managing conflict, as well as working in a team.

The term ‘social skills’ covers a wide variety of skills and competencies, many of which are rooted in self-esteem and personal confidence.  By developing your social skills, being easy to talk to, being a good listener, being sharing and trustworthy, you also become more charismatic and attractive to others.

This in turn improves self-esteem and confidence which makes it easier for positive personal dialogue and a greater understanding and acceptance of your own emotions.


SENSE OF OBLIGATION TO STAY (Normative Commitment). This type of commitment occurs when you feel a sense of obligation to your organization, even if you’re unhappy in your role, or even if you want to pursue better opportunities. You feel that you should stay with your organization, because it’s the right thing to do.

Few action points to help enhance emotional intelligence:

  • Be humble
  • Think before you speak
  • Set personal feelings aside
  • Take time to make decisions
  • Get a second opinion
  • Listen to your body.
  • Connect your feelings with your thoughts.
  • Pay attention

It is believed that if we all have sound emotional intelligence and respect, the world might be a bit better than it is. We can be the change we want. Little wonder why our government took the slogan “Change begins with you and I”. To this effect I support it with this quote “He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. ” -Harold Wilson


Article by Peculiar and edited by tony.

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